Last laugh

I went to the big W last night on my way home from work - 30 December - and the hot cross buns were out. Seriously guys, I know this was a hectic year but at least let it pass on gracefully.

It has been a hectic year, so many things have happened both personally and worldwide. Good and bad and please let 2009 be mostly good.

When I was 16 my dad told me a joke, I love both hearing and telling jokes and the good ones last for ever. So, 45 years down the line I'll share his joke. To me, this is so funny that when I'm really feeling low I can think about it and I'm reduced to the kind of laughter that brings tears. It is my all time favourite.

Sadly, only two people in the world have ever found this joke to be funny, me and my dad - tough!

So, to round off your year, humour me, this one's for John.

A little boy was home alone one afternoon. When his dad arrived at the house he asked his son
"Was anyone here while I was out?"
"Yes" said the boy, "a man".
"Did he have a bill?" asked his dad
"No", said the boy, "a nose like everyone else"

To you and yours a splendid, happy and healthy new year

LOL

Know your mustard

Mount Horeb, Wisconsin, is home to the world's largest mustard museum, with no fewer than 1493 varieties.

Clearly I have been missing out. Being the world's biggest implies that there are more mustard museums, in fact, there is a Dijon mustard museum and who knows what others, perhaps a grainy mustard?

To each his own.

Epic

On the way to work I listened to the 1812 Overture - twice. Good head banging music, but not the best cover version I've heard. On the way home I listened to Stairway to Heaven - yes, twice. That's when I realised what we've been missing musically the last decade.

"The Long Song"?

Why no more 8 minute masterpieces? Bohemian Rhapsody, Hotel California, Stairway to Heaven, American Pie. The ones guaranteed an audience.
I want to listen to the likes of Parisienne Walkways (?) I miss the zippy sound of fingers sliding down guitar strings and the really moving drum solo.

Clever people, get writing.

Just did it

When we went for our post Christmas drive out to Paarl we passed the original (I think) South African Steakhouse. I love their new catch phrase and it started me thinking about others. They have "Beef me up Skattie". - Luv it! and do you remember "It's not inside, it's on top"?
The clever ones don't need the brand name so we all know what goes with braaivleis and sunny skies, that things go better with coke and let's not forget "a can of the best".
New ones to be enjoyed are "It's dry, but you can drink it" and of course "Met Eish".
So all power to the people who think up these clever phrases and all power to the celebs who are gutsy enough to read the serious ones such as "real men don't rape".
Maybe one day I'll come up with the phrase that pays and retire in comfort, until then "keep your feet on the ground and reach for the stars"

Happy Holidays

We had a lovely day. Woke early, he made the coffee and cleverly remembered to bring two mince pies as well. Santa was really good and I received the most beautiful snow globe with two Rosina Wachtmeister cats inside. I love it.

The first Christmas CD was the sort of hooked on carols thing but then it was Superstar Christmas. John and Yoko doing Happy Xmas (War is over) - we wish! Then my absolutely favourite carol - O Holy Night. Even Mariah struggles with the high notes, what hope have I when I sing along. So it goes on, sadly I wasn't paying attention when good singing voices were handed out, but then , nor was Bruce Springstein and he gets by, so love it or hate it I sing along.

Lunch (the feast)at T&M was superb and the gifts well chosen, I think a good time was had by all.

The grand finale was our traditional Christmas movie. Rowland and I settled down, well fed and relaxed and watched Love Actually, the perfect end to a perfect day.

How blessed we are.

So to you and yours, love and light and good wishes for a splendid year to come.

Let's hear it for the little people

I did my final pre-Christmas shop yesterday, late afternoon. At my home-from-home Canal Walk. It was close to madness and I was happy to see the shelves emptying rapidly.
So here's my big thank-you to the little people who made the shopping experience so smooth. The cashiers, amazingly still smiling, the trolley collectors, the guys directing traffic through the booms, the cleaners who kept the "ladies" spotless, the cheerful crowd at the post office and all the invisible ones who made sure that our shopping time wasn't too painful.

Thanks guys

We are the Champions

There was no misunderstanding when I read this one

"Manchester United are officially the best domestic club in the world"

Yeah baby!!

Duuh

I have been known to misunderstand, get the wrong end of the stick, be a bit blonde (sorry blondes).
When I saw the Sky News headline "Jaguar owners pledge money" or words to that effect, I thought "Wow, now that's really generous".
I could picture a group of old guys, sitting around in the club or cigar bar, discussing the failing economy and wondering how to help.
"Well I think that as Jaguar owners it's time to put our money where our mouth is and give some ready cash. I've had years of enjoyment out of my old Jag, it still turns a head or two, so I'm prepared to pitch in fifty quid to help them out"
"Hear, hear" say the cigar puffing Jag owners.
Silly me! It's the company that actually owns Jaguar manufacturing company, but you knew that didn't you.
Still, it would be nice.

A rose by any other name..........

Every so often someone decides to change a street name and there's a big hullabaloo (I don't know how to spell brooha). Perhaps some names should never change.

I drive past Gert van Rooyen Drive. A dreadful time in South Africa's history and a reminder (not that we need one) of how precious our children are and how easily they can be taken from us.

Next Hendrick Verwoerd Drive. Never forget how one idea from one misguided person can ruin the lives of millions and sow hatred that may never be erased.

Perhaps we need a Mugabe Drive so that we never allow one person to become a despot, caring only for himself and blind to the suffering of his faithful followers.

Turn that frown upside down

Okay, sit comfortably where ever, in the light.
Close your eyes and frown. Do you see how dark it becomes? Now lift those eyebrows back up, smile and see how much brighter it is.

Live on the light side of life.

Pits and Parts

The water went off last night at around 10.35. Another burst water main. My first thoughts were, dishwasher - finished, washing machine - two loads done, coffee machine - filled for tomorrow. Capitalist!! There are millions of people who don't have these worries, because they don't have running water to hand. I just can't imagine living without access to water, or plumbing.

This morning I dicovered just how much of your body you can wash with a small bottle of sparkling mineral water - the important bits. Then another bottle for teeth and contact lenses. One large bottle of still water to fill the water bowls for the pets (or as they say now - companions). I'm very thirsty.

So please give a thought to the ones who don't even have a small bottle of sparkling mineral water, let alone a steaming shower and a toilet that flushes. There, but for the grace of God, go we.

Heroes

Are firemen the bravest people in the world? I think so. I can't imagine what it takes to go in to a burning building to rescue a complete stranger. My theory is that some people are born with a little more bravery than others. Some join the military or the police force but perhaps there are those who would rather save lives than take them, They are Firemen.
I salute them all!!

Some wise person wrote that we are all brave, heroes are just brave for longer.

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus

Just an excerpt from Francis P. Church of the New York Sun, 1897

Dear Editor -
I am 8 years old. Some of my friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says "If you see it in The Sun, it's so". Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O'Hanlon

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now Virginia, ..he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

You can read all about this on various sites, just type in Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

I hope it answers all the doubts felt by 8 and 9 year olds.

Christmas is coming

We had the family meeting on sunday at Timothy and Marleze's lovely new home. The menu was decided upon and who is to bring what.
I believe I felt the first glimmer of excitement. I usually save that until Christmas Eve but what the hey!
The tree will go up in the lounge this weekend and those silly little gifts I've collected through the year will be taken out and I'll see who they look like. I love giving presents, it doesn't matter if they're big or small, I just love it.

Tourist Trap?

I used to love going to visit Franschoek, quaint, lovely pancakes, interesting gift shops and a super secondhand book shop. This weekend I realised that now it's just a food hall with a few dress shops and overpriced souvenier shops. How sad. I think the Greens should visit a certain supermarket and give some advice. While I understand that different customers have different tastes, they all want a decent shop.
Thank goodness the super secondhand bookshop is still there!

Out of the mouths of babes

When I view the world with sad eyes, incidents in Mumbai and such like, horrific (true) tales of serial killers and other awfulness it's good to take a step back and see the world through the eyes of a child. I was in Woolworths with grandchildren and Jeremy the five year old said to the cashier "I didn't know shops stayed open late on a school night"
Something new to learn and wonder at every day.

You Sexy Thing

We were in Somerset West, early morning. As we turned the car, there he was, in all his amazing, awesome, magnificence. A Peacock with his tail fanned out. How incredible and how lucky we were to see it. The fan must have been two metres across, each feather perfect. He turned around three times, very slowly, the better to show off, then he ruffled his tail feathers and pawed the ground three times with his right foot, a neat trick (ask any showgirl).Slowly, slowly he folded in his fan, satisfied that the audience was impressed. How sad for him that there was no eager young peahen watching from the bushes.

Like sheep

Some days on my way to work, in the middle of suburbia, I pass about 20 or so sheep, grazing in a field, next to a busy road, under powerlines (no, I wouldn't care to eat that meat). They are tended by a young shepherd and a border collie who rounds them up.
It's a lovely olde worlde way to start the day.