Hold that tiger

In deference to my mum who is a fan I shan't repeat any of the Tiger Woods jokes I've found amusing. However, I have to give this years fun headline award to
"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant"

Tuesday Tip

I guess it's officially the Festive Season, 1 December, the Adderley Street lights are on and no doubt countless stand-in Santas are stocking up on hand sanitiser. (the real one is way too busy checking the naughty and nice lists).
Todays tip, pace yourself. If you haven't finished your Christmas shopping already, don't panic. Remember, your kids will still love you if you stop short of mortgaging the house to pay for their gifts. Even though Makro sent me a delightful catalogue of gifts, I really don't think it's necessary to spend upwards of R2000 on a gift for your 4 year old. Tish! she must learn to appreciate what she gets. Time enough when she's all grown up to pout and stamp her foot.
Christmas dinner doesn't have to be a menu for heart attack, just something really special, the secret ingredient is always the same, love.
What I'm saying is, this is a time of peace and goodwill toward all men, regardless of faith, colour or creed so please don't get hung up on the fact that you can't afford to celebrate the way we imagine the stars do, a gift is a gift, whether it's material or a gift of time, as long as it's given from the heart the rands and cents don't matter.
So, chill, relax, sing some carols if that's your way and don't forget to put away some moola for the post Christmas sales.

The good, the mad and the fugly

They were all there on Sunday, giving generously of their time and gifts for the Teddy Run from Century City to Maynardville. We arrived at around 8.30 to watch the parade and there were already a couple of thousand motorcycles waiting.
We weren't allowed to park in the Virgin Active car park, it was already seriously overcrowded with about 17 cars parked there so we commoners parked on the other side.
I am too much of a sissy to ride a motorbike but I do admire them. When Rowland was in the US last year they went through the Harley factory, he had a ball.
By 9.15 there must have been between 4 and 5 thousand bikes, grouped together by club or brand and it took around 25 minutes for them all to exit the carpark. It's not just about bikes, fashion plays a really big part. Some stunning leather jackets, laced down the side like corsets, jeans, jeans and more jeans, some fat, some skinny. Little kids, old kids, mended limbs, limps, beards, crash helmets, stuffed toys. One couple rode off with two hula hoops on the front of the bike. I just wonder where these bikes are hidden the rest of the year.
We had a super time, gazing wistfully at some 8000 people living their dream, way to go folks.
After the bikes we went through to Philadelphia to the crystal shop. Aletta and Maurice aren't just shop owners, they're entertainers and just so very friendly. I bought a good few Christmas gifts and we were there for at least an hour. I was quite taken with the Tibetan singing bowls but couldn't get a sound out of the one I was holding. The love of my life picked one up and in no time it was singing away, beautiful. Needless to say he bought one and gave a virtuoso performance later at home.
Good times.

The X Flies

There I am, sitting at my desk, working away, I pause, take out a ripe plum and open my mouth, all the better to take a bite with. Before I can blink there's a fruit fly staring me in the eye and trying to steal my plum. Fortunately it's too big for him.
Or I'm in the kitchen at home, The knife is poised to cut open a pineapple and whoops, there it is. A fruit fly.
This happens all the time, there are no flies in my home or office until the fruit moment. I can come to only one conclusion.
FLIES LIVE IN ANOTHER DIMENSION and they know how to quickly slip into ours at the first whiff of fruit.
What else could it be and how do we learn this nifty manouvre?

Tuesday Tip

A few years back we flew to Australia on Singapore Airlines -superb. It was the begining of the tightened air security and so of course nothing sharp was allowed anywhere. On our return we were chatting with the kids about the trip and I remarked how silly it was that the airline gives out a travel pack, complete with dinky tube of toothpaste which is impossible to open because there are no sharp, pointy things available.
Well, I knew Marleze was smart when she chose Timothy but she proved it by telling us (with a straight face) that the pointy thing is in the lid of the tube, you just have to turn it around and voila, the tube is pierced.
While you may know this already, there are those out there who still struggle to open tubes of glue, tomato paste etc. I attended a super Mandala workshop about a year ago and several of the ladies couldn't open their tubes of paint. Thanks to Marleze I was able to seem rather clever when I showed them how. Now it's your turn.

Just another Sunday

Technically we're working today. Motordrive is hosting a "Dyno Day" which, for those of you not in the know, is a day when a specific car club will come to our workshop and the members' cars will be given a run on our rolling road to find out what power the motor has. So, in the tradition of Caroline, here are my 10 sentences.
1. Sunny day, just a little wind
2. Friendly people, all earnest about their cars.
3. Music pumping courtesy of the DJ outside the building.
4. Boerewors rolls with lots of onions.
5. Short skirts and skimpy tops.
6. Carwash girls.
7. Mums, dads and little kids.
8. Rowland is getting a workout climbing in and out of the cars.
9. Old friends and new ones mingling, chatting and sharing a hobby.
10. The CTSR Crew will be making a donation to Nazareth House, Elsies River.

Pit y

I often wonder what target audience songwriters/performers have in mind when they produce something new. Last night we watched a few tearjerkers in VH1, things like "Don't give up" and "Where is the love". Madonna's latest crotch grabber doesn't grab me but I'm really taken with the new Pitbull song. It brings to mind a Conga Line.
"You can bring your girlfriends, dada dada da kick, dada dada da kick, dada dada -blow farty party favour - kick."
"Hotel, motel, Holiday Inn
Through the foyer, up the stairs, have another gin"
Sorry Pitbull, I'm in my sixties and we just have to get up and dance.